Re~Inventing The Fitness Program

So here's a run~on sentence about fitness, this comes at a very important time because, as I have discovered, I must always organize and re~organize my fitness program for a number of reasons one of which is keeping my physical self interested in the regimen and I can know that it is interested by continued hypertrophy of the muscle tissue and continued dissolve of the fat globules which takes me briefly on this tangent of tissue, the muscle does not weigh more than fat and I know we've all thought this but it's just not true, that being said, muscle takes up less space than fat so let's see, one pound of fat takes up roughly 4x more space than muscle and fat is not efficient, muscles require calories while fat requires nothing and so therefore fat is only kind of lame and that's because women have to have some of it on their bodies for survival and having babies, etc but to make this easier to understand if you have 2 women that both weigh 135 pounds the one with only 20% fat will look more tone and healthier than the other woman with 40% fat, this is because fat has more volume and makes you look lumpy and now you can guess my new goal for the next 4 months is getting LEAN and this will be done and I will do it myself and when I am done you can ask questions or hire me to train you because I am beginning a program that will allow me to train folks and assist in developing goals (more about that later) but I think what this sentence is about is my muscles because I want them and I want to see them and I like them and I especially like the shape that has emerged through all the changes my body has gone through and I am continually impressed at the willingness certain components of my body have that enables it to adapt and re~shape re~form re~invent themselves in a very big major FU to all those who assumed I was stupid because I was fat, so to that I say this: I wasn't fat, I was friggin lumpy because fat has more volume than muscle, so there.

Grateful Dead live 94 -So Many Roads

MOTM Jerry Garcia

I am always at least surrounded by individuals who are strong, smart, reasonable and who care for me and aren't afraid to share their thoughts and it has been this aspect of my life that has my attention more than ever now that the focus for me is nurturing important relationships and feeling, at once, blessed to have them in my life and it is days like today and weeks like this one when I can see with such clarity that which makes me take a breath, deeply, like the breath that a relationship often takes like the slack between tides, at the apex of change or the final [gaseous] heave of the corpse, a pause between two places or people, the median, the juxtaposition, Taijitu, where balance is imminent and necessary and the forever equation that the cosmos is forever doing and forever undoing and rarely, stubbornly showing her work in a way that I'm prepared for--like 15 years ago today, Aug. 9, 1995, no one can question whether or not I can recall that day and it's apex for me, the great pause in my life, the day, really, when everything changed (a bit naive since I hadn't birthed a child but similarly and in retrospect, this day was the biggest breath I've taken) and it started with a phone call to an apartment in Portland, Oregon where myself and my boyfriend slept onlly on a floor and drinking wine only from a gallon jug, the death of Jerry Garcia was announced to us through tears on a phone line suspending into mid air above me went my entire impetus for being on the west coast in search of the kindest of everything and in a breath had suddenly reached it highest and lowest point in a simultaneous explosion of confusion and hurt and such a feeling of emptiness that I actually can't say that I've recovered from it but here is that moment revisited and the man with his genius and magic swirls in and out of my EVERY SINGLE DAY and through the lives of my children and my father who heard his first Peggy O twenty years ago and grooved in a way that made me look at him as not the same man I've known but one who listens with the same heart that I have and as I continue to struggle with the loss of this talent Jerry Garcia has continued to accompany me on many deeply intense experiences and conversations and paintings and thoughts and writings and miles driven and miles run and even during both births of my boys, these are things that cannot be taken away, so today I take that pause, like I do every year at this time, to recognize a guy that has given so much to my life and I thank him, wholeheartedly, and I miss him, selfishly. So many roads to ease my soul.