Snoop Dogg Featuring Pharrell - Beautiful ft. Pharrell

Climbing/Running In The Earliest\Darkest Hours

Bob Dylan wrote in a song that 'they say the darkest hour is right before the dawn' (Meet Me In The Morning) which has become a mantra of mine as,
first of all, it is a gift to run my old roads in the dark, and, actually as a result of bloggin this blog, I've come to acknowledge a new way of livening up old routes and that is through nighttime running; it gives the path up entirely to the physical self, eliminating the mind's perception of depth, paces, distance, climb and subsequent effort, it removes the runner's classic most notable ability of gauging and reconciling ability with a quick estimation of the demands of the impending climb and throws in the disruptive newness, the formula that for the runner confuses us especially on roads we swear we know inside and out, upside and downside, running in the dark on roads I'm all too familiar with, sucks the familiarity out and inserts what I call a disruptive newness/unfamiliarity in--the lists and falls are unpredictable in intensity and, because the timing is totally off, the climb gets tough FAST- the nagging wife yanks sub-passionately at my quads, the carpenter's burly vice --in a practical way-- pinches the hamstrings, the shoulders cave, the chin tucks--my body curls into the climb unsure of what the climb will end up demanding because it's like I've never been here before and how fast am i running? how do i know? I listen to to my feet and turn down the music to see what information is available to me, but there isn't much, it's raining, and it's 4:15 a.m. and the ambient light cast from my deadening headlamp illuminates only one foot plant in front of me so my field of perspective is incredibly marginal but in contrast I feel inspired by what I don't know and have to rely on what I know I'm capable of doing because I've been here before, it isn't so much that I haven't the ability to be successful--YET, it's the trickery played on the mind calling in reconnaissance beckoning damage control issuing in the mulligan a moment where confidence in what I felt certain about is swallowed up by insecurity, but it's running and when I get confused I listen to the music play and continue to press the alternating foot down

Bob Dylan - Shelter From the Storm (Alternate Version)

Bob Dylan ~ Shelter From The Storm

It's early enough that I'll finish this tonight and it's late enough for my thoughts to trail which is imperative in this format that I feel like I must stand by despite my want, at times, to use a more firm punctuation ie. the period, however that disrupts the flow of my intent here, it puts stops and pauses where in running there really aren't any stops or pauses --> there are people who have suffered recently, the losses in life that implicate humanness as the fragile and tenuous tiny organism that it really is and then, when at a moment of total consciousness of the concert between flesh and soul, the birth of a child juxtaposed against the most messy a concert of opposites, of wonderful joy and tremendous sorrow, of swelling with love and absolute aloneness, of hearty laughter and weeping loudly, a concert of opposites of cruelty that one must survive or be swept off as a completely fully devastated human woman (in this case), a point where putting a period and moving on becomes the self spoken tough love--a mantra, but there is no period, even if figurative, being in concert this way commands the vulnerability in each of us and when I saw you the other day I hugged you and started to cry but you had done your makeup and looked as beautiful as ever but I know your body still hurts in ways that no mother could endure especially in retrospect while my boys hurl the cantaloupes, swing the celery and you said that you're making great progress with your recovery and the doctor said that soon you will start running again and I am stunned by your strength, for the positivity in your eyes, and for looking beautiful despite the hurt and I love you for wanting to start running again as soon as possible, your first run in many months and I honor running that much more because of you and because what I've insisted as pretty much only a strong metaphor for life for you will become something that you'll rely on -- and if you'd let me, I would love to join you. Period.

Wookiefoot - Be Fearless and Play

55.4 MPH on a Bicycle. My Bike. Snot Rockets.

I have had trouble lately trying to determine what about riding a bike I'd like to talk most about, I mean certainly we have all seen a variety of riders out there on the street and trails and occasionally some of us seek out the bike and performance that best suits us as individuals, certainly that is conversation I am having lately but it is punctuated by the thought of risk that is greater in this sport than in other sports that I've tried lately, I mean gosh, like the only risk in running is that big blue truck that passes me in the pre dawn hour, I swear the driver has yet to drink his or her fill of coffee because the truck negotiates our teeny road with the finesse that you'd expect from a monster truck...very little finesse, actually quite the opposite of it plus factor in wikked wide turns and a thundering motor-I'd much prefer that Buggatti Veyron ride that at $1.5 promises (prolly willing to guarantee, if you're anal like me) that the handling will be so lovely you'd never know you were travelling 110 mph in a 25 mph-- nonetheless, the opportunity to ascertain its handling is like totally not realistic, but FOCUS, today, on my new Michelin tires, I actually hit a new top speed as measured and tracked by the GPS on board...have I piqued your interest? I hit a new top speed of 55.4 MPH on a bicycle, yes a velocipede version of the Bugatti, at least a version that I am willing to, in all kinds of jest, assert that I am deserving of such comparison--maybe it's my new tires, maybe is due to a lack of fear and winters on the slopes scaring the crap out of myself by skiing some fucking fast bursts that feel nearly transcendental like I've liquified or my skis are liquid or like today my tires felt liquid but I felt very tight and strong and in control of the machine but completely reliant on the performance level that these tires had to give and I was so very happy that I lived and it was incredibly fun to go that fast and I'm trying to reel it in so I quit doing messed up stuff like that because today at work the cook insisted that I can only do that kind of riding so many times before I'll have to pay some kind of price (reciting a story about the dish guy who got hit by a dump truck) and I'm not sure the price, not sure how likely I am to fail, but I am willing to risk something regrettable because if I live my life on the very conservative protective side of what makes me feel the most and what registers somehow with passion in my heart, I will plummet into the icky grey white noisy mundane so give me speed and quick breeze and snot rockets and fast times and cars that pass me kinda slowly and keep me safely on my machine because serious injury is really the only thing that will ultimately brake [break] my heart - My first ever bike race is June 17, 45 miles -

Pink Floyd - Is There Anybody Out There?

Time - Pink Floyd + Lyrics

Racing the 20 Mile Distance/Cheeseburger

I'll be totally honest, racing the 20 mile distance was incredibly fun~I could run that distance regularly if the schedule were clear and the calendar wide open but no one has the time for that and these days if I want to log miles at all I'm on the bike, we all have lots we want to accomplish inside of everyday, which is why I'm sitting at the terminal at 2:08 a.m. and writing this blog---the entry wasn't even nagging at me but I had difficulty sleeping and arguing with sleep is not productive so I rise from the bed, make hot cider and doctor up photo ...

Racing the 20 mile distance didn't even cause me much worry compared with other things going on in my life, I came to the start warm (after a quick change into shorts), happy, refreshed, with Sharkies and GU and had a tempo performance in mind; I loved the man at the half split as I strode by he said 'You're half way there! Only 10 miles to go!" I couldn't believe I had only 10 miles left to run --this is the best race ever-- no half split, just a man ...

My pace is pretty good overall, but this pace goes directly to hell for the remaining 6.2 miles of the marathon distance race, had this race been a marathon my pace would have steadily declined worsening for every mile after mile 22 or 24, god that is what makes the marathon such a pain, really the biggest challenge for me, I actually want to do well, want to say I could run the Boston course because I deserve it but that has been an elusive performance goal for all 3 marathons I've run; SO ....

This year, 2012, will be the year of racing 3 marathons that means I'm still on a mission to find that performance that will qualify me as a decent competitor as a runner all around; the epiphany from today's 32 mile bike ride came on heavy and I'm certain that its message is rooted in the stuff I was taught as a youngster: practice, practice, practice makes perfect, training is kinda fun and kinda snooty, but racing and putting forth the most extraordinary effort you can muster is not only a one way ticket to hell in the marathon for some like myself, but also and more importantly has the makings of personal records, wonderful division standings, sweat soaked workout gear and incredibly yummy, well deserved cheeseburgers (with crumbled bleu and sauteed mushrooms on it) ...

I placed 24th in my division of 96 women ages 40-49.

(Special thanks to the firefighter from Mass. who passed me at mile 6 which reminded me that I should be/could be running his pace so I picked it up, followed his heel for 2 miles, initiated the epic re-pass and never saw him again)

A Tribe Called Quest - Vibes and Stuff

Hey Girl. Running: Where Nothing Changes But You. Vibes And Stuff ~ A Tribe Called Quest

Hello readers, enjoy the musical selection while I thank you for your attention to this matter: I love long ROAD MILES, it's true, but for the record training has moved on and picked up in a way that I have missed so desperately since late fall '11 coach has had me relegated to the treadmill and with good reason that subsequently produced great results and allowed me to finish up an indoor half marathon with a 7:54 pace and this is why it's helpful to work with, trust and employ the input of someone who is versed in training both intellectually and physically, I consider myself a total newb in both respects (like about everything) but that's pretty much being humble and recognising myself as never having fully arrived from performance to performance, though at times I'm thrilled by how I ran, certainly what I have going on with running never becomes an accomplishment which sort of carries with it a definite sense of doneness so I come to you with this entry because (well I am a stickler for not over rewarding), for the last couple of years, I started my new year running training with a marathon in March, but this year I decided not to drive to Virginia Beach with all the pomp and circumstance and run the distance, I passed, took a big ol' pass, which failed to enter in as an argument TO register for the VA 26.2 alas the very strong feeling of lostness is now where one finds herself, so in a flurry of confusion I quickly registered for the Eastern States 20 miler, a race that now starts in front of the high school (where I successfully graduated from, ON TIME and stuff) and heads by the house where I grew up (Which is still IN THE FAMILY and stuff) and down the coastline into Massachusetts crossing over the finish line at the 20 mile mark and so I am very excited about this distance, I have never raced it, it's nearly in the middle of the two distances that constantly have my attention and interest, the full and the half marathon, given it's nearly centered there I should find myself in a new category of tired or something or a whole new category of EFFORT one that is touched on in training at times and I know how it feels when I hit that effort it's sort of a cross between oh shit I should stop this because I can stop and I do choose to do this to myself and then it's like oh shit if I stop I make a statement to myself and before I attempt to formulate what that statement is...it's just as well that I choose not to formulate because then I can customize my bail in a very sophisticated way that makes sense to me and because I am nearly always reasonable, ha, second guessing will ultimately unhinge my goal of pushing through challenges and attacking the 20 miles in 5 mile increments and logging hours on the road between this moment here with you and when someone yells GO! in that moment there with them and coming out the other side to enjoy a relaxing cup of coffee, feel largely unaccomplished, and begin the process ALL OVER AGAIN.